Hold My Hand
by Hypnocessity
Summary: [Starting at the conflict on the rooftop with Kurumi] "I will stop at NOTHING to save you, Kurumi!" "Hold my hand, please.. that's all you have to do for now." "I can't forgive you for what you have done to my friends and this city, but you can still start over! With me!" AU, Rated M for future events, a lot will be explained in later chapters.
1. Chapter 1: Kurumi

A/N: Alright, so I've been undercover lately and I've decided to start anew. In this fiction, It is fairly centric on Shido/Kurumi, but Shido/Yoshino and Shido/Miku will be in this story as well. Sorry for all you Tohka fans. Me, personally? I LOVE Shido/Tohka, and sadly, I've seen not too many fabulous amounts of Shido/Kurumi and the other two mentioned, so in this fiction [don't hate me pls] Tohka and Yamai twins don't exist. I will make another fiction strictly for Shido/Tohka completely, because honestly, I myself feel horrible for doing this, but I want to make a fiction with Shido/Kurumi-centric/Yoshino/Miku, so, I hope you all enjoy. c:

Oh, please tell me how I can improve my story. I'll take suggestions and hopefully will be able to add them into the story without  
screwing up the plot, and I'll also obviously happily take advice on how to make it better. Thank you all. \^o^/

* * *

"Kurumi," He spoke calmly. "If you do not remove this barrier along with the spacequake, I will fall off of the ledge behind me,  
and die." He looked her straight in her eyes, with a stern look.

The girl simply cracked a small smirk with a forward look, and spoke back. "Fine, go ahead. Your words are mere _empty threats_ to me."

His eyes tightened and he took a deep breath. "Alright." He felt himself slowly falling backwards, his eyes closed, the look on his face vanishing. 'I wonder if I'll actually hit the ground...' He thought. 'It's not like it matters. I just proved myself to her, proved that my words were not 'empty threats' to her', he thought.

Shido felt the wind stop forcing itself against his back as Kurumi swept through a portal and caught him, flying back up to the top of the roof and placing him down rather roughly.

Kurumi yelled, "Are you _serious?_ You moron, are you completely _out of your mind?!_" Her teeth ground against eachother as she looked down at the boy.

He looked up, a grunt of discomfort heard. "Now I understand." He spoke, and slowly made his way to his feet. "My life isn't expendable."

Kurumi grunted with an unchanged expression.

"Stop the spacequake, Kurumi. Please." He looked her straight in her eyes.

"And, for the love of my friends, please remove the barrier." He looked at her with more edge. "I will bite my own tongue off, and die. That, you cannot control."

For some reason, she

doki

"Che," She spat, releasing the barrier, the ear-ringing spacequake alert signal fading away.

He looked down at her as he stepped closer. "You're thinking it right now, aren't you, Kurumi-san?" He spoke quitely. "We both know that I cannot forgive you for hurting my friends, but there is one more thing I want." He swallowed what felt like a cactus.

"Nani? There's more? How greedy. I just spared your friends', along with this city's citizens' lives. What more could you want?"

"Why would you go _this far,_ Shido-san?!" She yelled, "Why would you go as far as to end your _own life _just to save your fr-"

He looked down and almost yelled, "Let me give you a chance to start over!"

"W-Will you quit with that already?" Kurumi felt unease, but it wasn't discomforting. "I've heard it enough, and I-"

"Kurumi!" Shido cut her short, taking another step. "You will never know unless you try! Have you ever thought once of being good? What would you think if I didn't like you? Would you just kill me off?"

"Sh-Shido..." Kurumi felt more unease, and this time discomfort made itself known to her. "Enough, please..."

"Yoshino is living a normal life right now, and you can enjoy it too!" His heart was pounding. He had never been so freightened. One wrong move, one wrong phrase, one wrong anything and he could have his own life taken away. Never had it occured to him that while saving Yoshino he could lose his life, but with Kurumi...

"Had you never considered it, you couldn't have enjoyed your date with me, Kurumi!" He took yet another step closer, they were 4 more steps apart.

"B-but, Shido, I-", still, her affection was..

"I know I can do this! I _have_ to do this!" He was on the verge of tears. "You can make amends for everything that you have done to this innocent city, along with my friends! Kurumi!", and even then, she..

"Kurumi, I don't care now about how many sins you have committed, because," Shido swallowed dozens upon dozens of boulders.  
Kurumi's heart was racing, and guilt was settling in.

'Oh, no... Shido, don't make that face... it's breaking my heart..', even in this moment, she...

"Because..." Shido jolted his head up and yelled,

Even now, Kurumi's affection meter remained at an unchanged 100%.

"I will stop at **nothing** to save you, Kurumi!"

doki-doki, doki-doki, Kurumi's heart rate was making her head ache.

"But, I... I can't, Shido, I..."

Shido smiled, hearing Reine confirm her affection meter at 100%, he held out his hand. "Please, Kurumi..." He spoke with gentleness, "take my hand, and let me rescue you." Kurumi's eyes began to water up, slowly extending her arm out as Kotori was silently cheering him on from afar.

"Can I... really be saved? Can you really... save me, Shido-san?" Shido smiled as he nodded. "Only if you're willing to let me. Just hold my hand, Kurumi." He had a saddened look on his face. "I can't bear not being able to save you any longer." Kurumi's heart shattered like slowly melting ice in the summer. "So, please, Kurumi.. your only job right now, is to hold my hand... _I_ can do everything else!"

Kurumi ran into his arms almost faster than her heart did as she cried gently. "Shido-san... Shido-san..." She felt two arms coil tightly around her body and felt a comfort like none other. "Kurumi... just hold me." Closing his eyes, he squeezes her, doing unto her.

Reine confirmed that her affection gauges were unreadable at this point, Kotori screaming in victory.

Pulling his head back, he looked into her eyes, pushing the hair that was hiding her golden clock to the side. "You're beautiful, Kurumi."  
Kurumi's heart had skipped a beat, and Kotori told him that he didn't have to do anything more, and to bring her back to their house.  
"Shido...-san... you, you think so?" She looked up at him.

'So... I turned this psychopathic yandere killer into this loving, gentle, fragile girl by manipulating her feelings. Alright, 2 spirits and counting!'  
Shido silently cheered himself on as he placed her head on his shoulders. "Yes, Kurumi, you're beautiful. Please, leave the rest to me."

Kurumi wiped the tears off of her face with her sleeve and nodded, closed eyes and a gentle smile, "Of course, Shido-san."

Shido leaned in and surprised Kurumi with a gentle kiss, finally sealing her powers. Albeit leaving the girl wide-eyed, she sank into his kiss subconsciously, frozen in many emotions. Her gothic clothing slowly faded from toe to head, with a shimmer brighter than the one shown in her eyes, currently.

"Sh-Shido-san, when did you?..." She pulled away, her face red. "Kurumi, It's a part of the sealing. You're now safe with me." He took her hand, and smiled. "Let's go to my house, okay? I can explain anything you want to hear there, okay?" His eyes were closed.

'Yes! I did it! Jesus christ, what a psycho! I thought I was going to die! I don't even feel much for her... so, why was my heart going insane?' He questioned himself. 'Maybe... it's fear? She's scary, but.. It feels a little better than I thought it would.'

"Yes, Shido-san, I will follow you." She smiled slightly, looking down. "Thank you... I will follow you to the end of time." Speaking of an ironic statement, considering her power was to control time.

Shido's heart skipped a beat at that moment, though he shoved it off. "Y-Yeah, no problem.."

* * *

**IMPORTANT TO NOTE:**

UGH. I feel like I had a great idea with where this was going, but I feel like it all happened too fast! I'm really rusty, so this fic is basically like a practice, and will probably end up re-doing it in the future!

:P I fucking LOVE Shido/Kurumi just ugh it's so perfect ;u; In all honesty, I'll probably make a fic where the story remains untouched, except that after saving Miku, Shido saves Kurumi :DDDDD

Alrighty, I hope you guys enjoyed chapter 1!~ c: Laterss.

Please remember to _constructively criticize me, _and DO point out spelling errors... I re-read my stories/chapters and edit/refine them to my best of power, but I'll still end up making a mistake. Bye-bye! ^u^


	2. Chapter 2: Nightmare

A/N: Well, I have a bit of a headache, but I found more inspiration by listening to music and taking a few medications. ^_^ I hope you all enjoy chapter 2.

* * *

Shido blew a big breath. "Hoooo_ooo.._" He glanced over at his clock. '8:30am, huh?' He rolled back over, too tired to get up. '

Oh, yeah.' He looked the other way, to see a sleeping gothic lolita next to him, her arms wrapped around one of his, her head buried in his shoulder.

'Saving Kurumi wasn't a dream. Then... why do I feel this way?' He adopted a rather burdened look, but looked back to the ceiling and closed his eyes.

'Oh well...' he thought. 'I can try to figure it out later, I hope...' And with that, back to the dreamscape.

* * *

_Dreamscape_

"Arigato, Kurumi!" Shido yelled back to her from the building she was standing on, fighting off the AST.

"Ara, ara, Shido-san, It's not a problem. Just save your girl friend." Kurumi smiled hellishly, ripping the enemies' emotions in half.

"Mm." He smiled and nodded in agreement, running to the little loli.

"SHIDO! Are you _insane?!_" Screamed the red-haired commander. "You will die if you go into Yoshino's snowstorm, even with your regenerative abilities! Return to the Fraxinus immediately! We can patch you up and save Yoshino anoth-"

"NO!" He yelled into his earpiece, feeling the bone-chilling, sub-zero wind ice the hair on his flesh. "I have come too far already!" He added, "If I stop now, who _knows _what will happen?! The AST will kill Yoshino in due time if I don't save her _right now!_" He fixated his gaze to Yoshino's spirit, Yoshinon hidden in his pocket.

Kotori's heart strings tugged a little bit. 'You idiot, onii-chan..'

"Fine! Do whatever you want! But, if you die, I-" "I won't die! I know I can do this, I, I..." Shido's will to speak was fading away, due to the intensity of the cold. His throat was frost-burnt.

'Damn... Yoshino... I'm coming... Wait for me.' He took another step, losing feel of his arm covering his eyes.

He lost consciousness, and land face-first on the floor.

_CRACK_

_Dreamscape End_

* * *

_"Hya!"_ Kurumi jolted up from Shido's scream, and immediately held him tight. "Don't worry, Shido-san... I'm here..."

Shido bit his lip and swallowed roughly. "No, Kurumi... thank you, but.." He sighed, regulating his breathing pattern eventually. "It was just a nightmare from someone I already saved." Kurumi hugged him tighter, her head stuffed in his stomach.

"Shido-san..." Shido gently hugged her back, resting his head on hers. "Don't worry, Kurumi... I have to use the rest-room, so... if you don't mind, haha.." Kurumi's face tinted pink and she scurried off of him. "M-My apologies, Shido-san."

Shido would pat her head and chuckle, causing Kurumi to look up, grunting in surprise. "Un?"

"It's not a worry. I'll make breakfast soon." Kurumi smiled, and if she could pur, she would be right now. "Yes, Shido-san."

* * *

Shido splashed water on his face, and flushed the toilet. He sighed and looked into the mirror drowsily.

"Ugh... why do we even need sleep?" He said aloud. "It's just so annoying getting used to being awake after falling asleep."

He opened the door of his home, making his way to the kitchen. 'Hmm...' he scanned his kitchen, thinking what breakfast to make for today. 'Eggs and bacon? No... I had that yesterday.' He looked in the pantry. 'Canned beans? Ew, why do we have that?' He opened the freezer. 'Pizza, for breakfast? that'd take a half-hour..' The blue-haired kid groaned in annoyance.

"We're completely out of good things for the morning!" He yelled, waking Yoshino and Yoshinon up.

"Sh-Shido..-san... what's, wrong?" Yoshino asked, rubbing her eyes gently.

"Ara ara, Shido-kun~ You seem to be in a bit of a pickle~" Yoshinon was already awake and lively, ready to ruin Shido's life.

"Oh for the love of, please don't start, Yoshinon..." He groaned, his head ache worsening. "I need to pick up medication from the pharmacy for my headache, and food from the store for breakfast... It's already..." He glanced at the clock. 9:00am? Well, Kotori wouldn't be home until 11:30, due to her 'Commander work', or whatever she calls it.

"Kurumi!" He called to the girl using the restroom. "We're heading to the stores, want to come?" Shido heard a flush, and the opening and closing of a door. She walked into the front-room in Shido's School's uniform.

"Shido-san, do I look good?" She made a slightly suggestive pose. Shido swallowed an apple. "A-Ano..." He glanced over at Yoshino, who was frightened.

"K-Kurumi... please... don't hurt Shido...-san..." She whimpered and shivered under her hood, holding herself tightly. Kurumi blinked, and then realized she hadn't introduced herself in a friendly manner.

"Yoshino, come on... I saved her, just like I saved you, remember?" He smiled at her, rubbing her head.

Yoshino blushed like wildfire, but looked up at him, and then her. "I-I'm... Yoshino... this, this is... Yoshinon..."

"How are ya, pretty lady?~" Yoshinon squealed, and then got shut up by Yoshino's other hand.

"You darn puppet, don't say that stuff!" He was arguing with Yoshinon and Yoshino felt uneasy. Kurumi chuckled lightly as she watched the situation play out before her. "Yoshino, nice to meet you." She broke the arguing, holding out her hand. "I'm Kurumi Tokisaki, but you can call me whatever you want." Yoshino uneasily took grip of her hand, shaking it slowly.

"Kurumi...-chan..." Yoshino started to smile. "Big boobies!" Yoshinon added. "Will you knock that off?!" Shido rubbed his temples with one hand, blushing profusely. Kurumi blushed, but then laughed out loud, along with Yoshino giggling and Shido faking a laugh.

"Ah-ha-ha, let's get going. My head ache is getting worse." He grunted, taking his overshirt and walking out of the door.

* * *

A/N: It's not much, but in total I want every chapter to be around 800-2,000+ words c: I'm trying my best, but this chapter is kind of a filler, I guess? I don't know, but I will tell you that next chapter something finally happens. Wee~ Thanks for all and any support! I'll do my best!~


	3. Chapter 3: Good Intentions, Or Not?

*EDITED*

A/N: I have no excuse for the past two months in not updating this story. Quite a few have expected this for a long time, and I don't know how well It's going to turn out. I really still don't have a plot, but It's best to not keep people waiting any longer than I have. It's really not waiting months on end for a new chapter to a remotely okay story, right? :/ Well, here it is. I'm going to try really hard for the chapter after this/think of good stuff to do with this story. Thank you!~

Again, just a reminder, OOC, obviously, for character development, which will hopefully proceed accordingly.

* * *

After the gang had gotten home from the store, picking up a gallon of ice cream, and picking up Shido's headache medication, they returned home, only to find Kotori waiting inside.

"Took you not too long, actually." She grunted. "It's only 10:30, I know, but that's because there was a huge shortage on paper work today." He grunted back. "Paperwork? You do work on that stupid device of yours." Her eye twitched. "Shut up, idiot."

Kurumi chuckled, which caught her attention. She was about to summon Efreet, but Shido put a hand on her arm. "Stop, I saved her." She blinked.

"Are you _serious_?" Kurumi felt a little hurt on the inside. "You save Kurumi? _Kurumi Tokisaki? Nightmare?"}_

Shido felt a bit hurt as well. "Please.. don't talk about that." He rubbed his chin. "Though, Kurumi, you're just a clone, right?" She shook her head. "Not anymore. Since you saved me in this dimension, you erased every other clone that the real one created. Which means I am the real Kurumi now." She smiled.

Shido paled and Kotori dropped her jaw. Yoshino was excited, though. "Oh, Kurumi-onee, that means that you're not evil anymore?"

It didn't hurt her this time, because she had found her resolve. She simply shook her head and her smile beamed, almost blinding them. "No, of course not. Not anymore." She grabbed Shido and buried herself in him.

"This man saved me.. he brainwashed my evil ways, and honestly, I felt like he had given me a second chance, even If I _was _a clone."

She backed off after being hugged back for a short time, and she motioned for them to sit at the table. And that they did, they all took their seats.

"A-ano..." He blinked.

"I'm glad you have your white ribbons on now, Kotori." She looked at him, and the others did too, wondering what he meant. "Why so?" He quickly replies with, "Because, you're just so much cuter when you're not rude."

Kurumi smiled. 'Aw, he loves her. That's darling.' Kotori was profusely red, but before she could say anything else, he just had to. "Okay, so I don't remember much, but her black ribbons is her tsundere split personality, and her white ribbons is her cute split personality."

Kurumi nodded. "So she has some sort of S.P.D?" He nodded, and motioned to Yoshino. "Yoshino, S.P.D. Basically means that one person literally has two personalities, and often it's changed by a trigger." She nodded in understanding, and Kotori was still silent.

"A-Ano.." She took out the bucket of ice cream. "Let's eat."

* * *

Shido was lying on his bed, staring out the window. "What a lovely day it is today." He stretched, intent on relaxing.

'Though, I'm still kind of worried... Kurumi still feels like a psycho, her aura is still pretty ominous..' He rubbed his chin, dragged into deep thought. 'She could easily be lying when she said I erased the other clones, and that she's the real one. Her intentions could still indeed be malicious, but I can't say for sure.' He nodded.

"Yeah, that's it, we'll need to see how this pans out."

"How what pans out?" He jolted up and looked at a Kurumi standing in the doorway, pretty cutely.

"N-Nani? O-oh, well.." He scratched his head. "I don't really remember." He said blankly, and she became puzzled. "I forgot suddenly... I was in deep thought." She nodded, buying it easily.

'What is she, nuts?' Kurumi slowly made her way towards him, and sat next to him on his bed.

"Ara, ara, Shido-san," She rubbed his cheek. "Are you nervous?"

'Yeah, well now I am, you big jerk.' "O-Of course not..."

Obviously, it _wasn't _evident in his voice. She smiled broadly. "Why are you so nervous?" She kissed his cheek. "Do you think I'm going to do naughty things to you?"

He blushed like mad, but shoved it off. "Just what are you playing at..?" Her finger trailed from his stomach up to his ribs, his chest, his collarbone, his chin, his cheek, his lips...

"Nothing, nothing at all." She giggled. "I just loved the way it felt when you kissed me, Shido-san." He gulped.

Well, he thought there wouldn't be any harm in doing it again, but she might find out that he doesn't like her the way she thinks he does. Though... what if he ended up so? No, no! No way in hell he'd fall for a psycho like her! She wanted to kill him once before, so why.. why on earth would he do such a thing?

"I... um, I..." Kurumi looked up at him from his chest. "Ara?"

"Well..."

Screw it. His heart was racing, so why not satisfy his desires? She is pretty beautiful, too.

He grabbed her shoulder and pulled her into a kiss. She widened her eyes, and she could feel blood making it's way down to her lower region. Her eyes softened, and then went on to become half lidded. She ran her slithery arms around his back and gently pulled him close to her. She could just feel the way he wanted this just as much as she did in their kiss. Shido did a half-assed job of kissing when he sealed her, so he thought he should show Kurumi what he's got.

He pulled away, panting slowly. "I just... love your.. eyes.." She blushed. "My-My eyes? Why so?" She offered him a tiny, cute smile. "They're so beautiful... nobody I know has a red and golden eye.. It's mesmerizing." She blushed even more. Any more blood and surely, she'd end up popping blood vessels.

"My, my... I'm being praised by my savior... this is a dream." He pulled her back in for another kiss, and she easily kissed him back.

Why was he doing this? There was no reason to do this. No reason to kiss her, to tell her she's beautiful, so why? Has loving the feeling of being able to save people and kiss them gotten into his head? Or maybe it's the subconscious feeling in the back of his head telling him that it's not the same Kurumi, that she can change. Though, he'd never believe that as things are now, not until she was tested by Reine, or that he could believe her words just because she said them, or just flat out both.

Truth be told, he was scared. He was really scared. Never had he made such a bold move on such an attractive girl, besides the fact he made her try on those really attractive bra, panties and garters on their date that one time. He was so god damn nervous, he thought he was going to get literally stabbed by death glares.

Kurumi began to moan quietly as she felt his tongue enter her mouth, to which she licked back.

Seriously, he should stop. Just stop doing this. There's no reason to make a psychopath fall in love with you more than she already is. Then again... if this wasn't an act, why was she here? She was in love with the thought of devouring me for my power, not me, nor my looks. So why?... an ulterior motive? It's most likely because she's trying to enter his own heart, only to tear it apart, along with him, somehow getting her powers back.

No, that's impossible, right? She can't get her powers back unless she devours me with hers', and the only way to do that is if she lost her feelings for me... so the only conclusion is that she actually is in mad love with me..

He blushed at the thought of her love during their prolonged, prolonged kiss. Why, though? Surely he didn't feel the same way about this, this crazy murderer, right? Should he believe that he really changed this beautiful woman for the better?

Still, though, there's really no 100% telling if she actually has an ulterior motive. Who knows how long she has been a spirit? She may have spoken with Phantom, and may already have a plan.

Wow. Wow. Just wow, he thought. Here he was, making out with the most gorgeous girl he'd ever seen, and he was thinking about her backstabbing him with a vicious ulterior motive. This is why he can never enjoy anything in his life, honestly. It's so hard when you're him though, if you think about it. Keeping constant watch and tender care over girls and their affection levels was crazy.

Though, if this is what he had to do to keep their affection for him high, he doesn't mind. Kissing these girls has given him a wondrous opportunity to shave off 80% of these twisted, pervy thoughts of his. Hormones went crazy on him this year of high school, he guesses.

She pulls away, her eyes glistening as she lustfully swallows their combined saliva, panting out of her mouth.

"Shi-Shi.. Shido-san..." Kurumi had a hard time saying his name.

Shido ran a hand across her cheek, and making his way towards her head, sinking his hands in her beautiful hair, strands through every gap between his fingers. He loved the feeling. But why? Just because it was a girl...

...or because It was her?

"Kurumi.." She maintained her blush as she tilts her head and giggles. "I really, really... enjoy our... time together... to an... extended.. extent, Shido..-san.." She could not stop panting. And honestly, he felt pretty guilty. The whole time during his thought process of her maneuvering her way through his heart only to manipulate him in the end really took it's toll on her breath.

Unfortunately for her, this only made her all the more adorable to him.

"You're really cute when you're hazy, panting and blushing." Why, though? What was the reason? Her new personality, intentions, looks, a combination of two, or all three? Maybe he'd never know.

She looked down in feint embarrassment.

"My, my... Shido-san.. you're praising me.. so much.." She looked back up at him afterwards and smiled, a tear in the corner of her eye.

His heart twisted into knots. "It's honestly making me the happiest woman ever, Shido-san." And with this, he pins her down on his bed, his mind lost in her eyes.

She gave an "uu?" As he delved into her mouth with his once more. His hands gripped her wrists as her arms were spread out up above her head, rendering her ability to move futile. She had no choice but to let him train her ability to breath through her nose.

Really, though, why was he doing such a thing?

Maybe, he was falling in love with this beautiful psycho.

This, wonderful, scary girl he calls ex-Nightmare, Kurumi Tokisaki.


	4. Chapter 4: That Empty Feeling

A/N: I may or may not be joking about Tohka/Yamai being in this story. Who really knows what I mean? I'm up to mischievous acts while writing these next few chapters, so stay tuned for answers to a few questions you may have. (= Onward!

P.S, may or may not be promoting this song, but please listen to it if you're a dubstep fan! It's really awesome! I love Spag Heddy and all his work! Search "Spag Heddy - Love At First Sine" And click the one made by DubstepGutter if you want dubstep with visuals. :) ONWARD!

* * *

The blue haired boy stretched, feeling weak after what he put himself through last night. He almost felt nauseous. 'Seriously...' he asks himself, 'why did I go so far last night?'

He looked over to the doll-like girl and couldn't help but smile. She was using her two hands frozen in a clapping state to rest her head on as she curled up into a ball.

"You sleep just like a baby, Kurumi." He rubbed her head, and didn't realize she was such a heavy sleeper.

Really, she was just _smoking _hot, he thought. He couldn't get over it. He didn't prefer the word 'hot' over 'beautiful', or 'darling', or 'gorgeous', but you get the point. He's just really timid, that's all.

Relishing in last night's memories, he slowly slid back to a plank position as he pulled the covers over them. He almost touched her. _Yeah. _Almost fondled her. She looked like she wanted it more than him, but something told him to hold off. He wanted to keep a little of his innocence as of late, not like kissing a little girl really helps, but still.. he felt out of place, especially when she wanted him to touch her. She shivered as the A/C turned on in his room, and began to _really _appreciate covers, and body warmth. Without warning, he simply pulled her curled up body to him, and squeezed her. She opened her eyes slightly, and vaguely understood, so she stretched slightly, and wrapped her arms around his body.

He shook a bit, knowing that she was awake, but easily regained comfort as their bodies battled his harsh air conditioning. He thought about how Kurumi looked in her astral dress, and jeez, did it catch him off-guard. She was so gorgeous, but with her astral dress, she could be physically considered a goddess, among the eyes of men and some women.

But, why, though? Why was he so into this girl? He squeezed her tighter. _He doesn't know._ Surely, he's subconsciously doing this to get over something, probably. But what? Just _what exactly is he doing? _Right now, in this life, what is he doing?

He almost became depressed. He immediately felt that he was really bipolar today. Feeling horny, lucky, then depressed. What kind of life is he leading, though?

He sometimes felt like he had a hole in his heart. And he almost felt like Kurumi filled it in almost completely.

_Almost_.

It's sad to him. He wonders why he feels how he does, but he can't help it. He somehow felt cataclysmic. It was a great feeling, too. He changed two girls so far. Yoshino and Kurumi.

Now that he thinks about it... just what the hell _happened _before the rooftop scenario? His heart stopped. Seriously. _What, the actual hell happened before the roof top?!_

Come to think of it, he had a difficult time remembering days, even weeks before that. He can remember Yoshino, but that's about it... what the hell? His heart began racing, and a feeling of terror struck him cold. The waves of fear hit him hard. He started to shake violently, and held back a yell.

But... why? Why was he so scared? Will he ever be tired of asking the same questions with the same words? Will.. anybody answer to him?

He felt ensnared in darkness, and nobody reached a hand out from any direction to pull him out. Shido felt as if someone had purposely trapped him into this.

He started to feel something else, and something besides terror and fear began to shake him.

_Rage._

Why can't he remember anything?! What the hell is going on?! Why... why is he so worried about these lost memories? Obviously, one person can't remember 100% of every passing second, but something doesn't seem right.

How did he get to the rooftop, and why were Kurumi's intentions so shakingly evil? To _devour _him, his body, his soul, his power. His _powers._

That led to another thought. Why did he know her plan? Who told him, or how did he find out?

His brain was like a clockwork machine, and it's gears began to slow down at an easing pace.

He doesn't care anymore. He should just live his life out how it is now, and see what the outcome of his actions will be in the passing days.

But, why? Should it be like that? He can't help but to as 'why' at every one of his decisions.

Kurumi woke up and crawled half-on top of him, to get a better view and understanding of why tears streamed down his face, and seemed to even minutes before she had woken up.

"Shido-san, why are you crying?" He was taken by faint surprise and then shock.

"I'm crying?" He blinked, only to feel the wetness of on-flowing tears stop in his eyelids. "Wow, I-I..." He swallowed. "I didn't know I was... I didn't know why I.." He fumbled and tripped over his words as he tried to come up with an answer to her sudden question, and she stayed silent, intent on hearing him speak.

"I'm scared." That's all it took for her heart to shatter. This hero of the nightmare, scared? That can't be. She thought back to the moments where the ex-real Kurumi was explaining the capture of Shido, and how her plan would work. How horribly it failed, she thought darkly. She has fallen in love with this man, and the only way to obtain her powers and kill him is to fall out of love.

But that's not what the clone wanted. Unluckily enough for the ex-real Kurumi, she had created clones each with a unique personality. Unluckily, you might be wondering? Well, this Kurumi was made to love him, and that specifically. Love, as in to love him with an undying flame.

"Why is that, my lovely Shido-san?" She responds, to which he quickly answers with, "I don't know."

Now _she _was confused. "But, why? Why don't you know?" He chuckled grimly. "I've been asking myself 'why?' for about 10 minutes... I can't.. I don't..." He shivered in cold and sorrow. She hugged him gently, not saying a word.

"I can't remember anything." She felt puzzled. "I can't remember anything before Yoshino, anything past Yoshino, anything before the rooftop scene, and I..." He gulped, the tears returning. "I feel like something is missing." 

* * *

_meanwhile..._

A dark-plum haired girl lay sleeping on a chair, trapped by straps surrounding her wrists and ankles.

A man in white smiled extremely broadly.

"Fantastic! Our plan is working in such a breath-taking manner!" The man beamed, and a girl with pale blond hair kept a fixed face on the chief.

"What a bore." She replied flatly, to which he blinked in fake sadness.

"Awe, my Ellen doesn't appreciate my well-thought out plan which led to an amazing turn of events.." He sighed quite noticeably fake-like.

She sighed again. "Well, the only flaw is that he captured and so-called 'rescued' the Nightmare, which seems impossible." She pushed up her glasses. "We've definitely underestimated this kid, by about 95%, according to our calculations." He was about to speak, but she continued. "And also... regardless of the fact that Shido has taken this girls' power, we can still extract it, because within two months or less, she'd be sleeping and away from her physical body long enough to care about anything at all, including her rescuer."

He frowned, and felt pretty stupid regardless of these happenings. "I suppose you're right. The other 'only flaw' is that we have to wait 2 months to extract her power.. she has way too much, and we're up-to-date on technology, and since you're the _genius _here, you can conclude and agree that there's no way to speed this process up, correct?"

Immediately she responds with "No." He blinked. "Excuse me?"

"If you _really_ wanted to speed up the process, Isaac, you'd capture Shido." He frowned. "But-" "You see," She cut him off and began ."He holds the power of Kurumi Tokisaki and Yoshino, with no clear last name." It took a moment to register, and when it did, she continued regardless of him about to yell about how perfect Ellen and her plan was.

"That being said, we can extract _his_ power, which means Kurumi and Yoshino's power would come out along with it. Since Shido Itsuka's power is to _take _power, which we technically already have, it would take less than a day to take, meaning this girl is almost useless."

He momentarily responds. "Every bit of power is useful, and this girl is higher than an A-rank spirit."

She nods, "Although, Kurumi Tokisaki has an un-calculable amount of power.."

"I wonder who the very first spirit was." That definitely caught Ellen's attention. "And why bother with that?"

His face adopted a dark look. "Are you blind, or simply retarded?" She blinked at his bold wording, and thought it was rather childish to use such a vulgar word. "The _very first _spirit, Ellen?" She blinked again. "So what?"

He rubbed his temples, becoming frustrated.

"Look..." He began, regardless of knowing this conversation could possibly give him a headache from Ellen and her annoying words. "We have zero data on the first spirit. Has it ever occurred to you how spirits even _became _spirits? Moreless, the first spirit? The _first, fucking, spirit?!"_

To put it rather bluntly, she could 100% agree that she was retarded. "You're right, Isaac, I..." He felt awesome for finally being right. "Exactly! What if the first spirit knew how to make a spirit, or what if the first spirit had the most power out of all the spirits?!" He began in a state of lust for power.

Ellen, on the other hand, rubbed her chin precariously. 

* * *

Progressions, progressions! Progressions?... Just what are Isaac and Ellen really up to? Why does Shido feel so empty? Why does Shido feel a mix between oncoming love and partial distrust towards Kurumi? Why can't he remember anything at all? Stay tuned. (=


	5. Chapter 5: Hope

A/N: Sorry If my update times for my stories get a schedule change-it may happen more often than not, solely because Fan Fiction isn't my main priority; I'm helping my brother go through his end of a 3 year relationship because she cheated, and I also have school to worry about, but I will try my absolute **hardest** to make these happen. I hope you all enjoy this chapter of Hold My Hand, Remorse.

* * *

Taking a sip of his coffee, Shido yawned and stretched, coffee making it's way through his bloodstream. "What a night." He said aloud for Kotori and Kurumi to hear as they were sitting in his living room kitchen table. Eggs and bacon were set out for all three, Yoshino sleeping cutely on his sofa.

"What a night indeed." Kurumi added, and Kotori smiled. "I see you two are getting along..." Kotori inwardly thought that this was still all so suspicious, but she quickly threw that thought away.

"Indeed we are." Shido wolfed a piece of bacon down. "It's a good thing, too."

"And why is that, Shido-san?" Kurumi asked, poking fun at him. He grunted. "You know as well as I do, so don't ask such a goofy question." Kotori giggled and then the other two laughed.

"What a happy little family we have here." Kotori rubbed her eyes after an elongated yawn. "You alright?" The man with blue hair asked his red-haired sister. "Yep, I just had a _long _sleep, maybe like 11 hours?" Shido nodded and left the conversation at that.

Inside, Shido wanted desperately to figure out what was missing in his heart. He knew that somewhere, somehow, something was missing in his life, but he couldn't quite figure it out.

"Say..." He gulped. He did not know if this was a good idea or not, but he's going to do it anyways. After all... this feeling is becoming almost nauseating. "Why do I feel so empty?"

Kotori was found dumbstruck, showing no expression but a questioning look to cover up her initial reaction to his sudden off-handed outburst.

"Excuse me?" Kotori replied, and he repeats, "Why is it that I feel like I'm missing something in my life?" Kurumi frowned at that. "I have no clue, Shido-san, but I **hope** I can somehow make you feel better."

He smiled in a gesture saying thank you. "Why did you decide to say that now, out of all times, and ruin this awesome mood?" Kotori asks.

"I don't know, I... I'm sorry, I just.. can't bear this feeling for much longer." He felt his head begin to twirl very faintly. "I feel like I'm going to puke, actually.."

Shido stared down at his breakfast and lost his appetite, so he downed the orange juice in the glass next to the plate.

"Shido.." Kotori felt a bit concerned as he just downed every drop of Orange Juice from his glass. Only because he usually doesn't really do that.

* * *

"Damn..." His eyes looked plain, and emotion wasn't clear if you were to stare into them. Confusing, he thought. What was he supposed to feel for anything, at this point, really? Why did he even feel any kind of feeling?

To him, it feels like part of him is gone, as if he didn't know who he was.

He _knew _something kind of petty like missing memories is nothing to get this upset and confused over, yet... It was strange how he didn't even _remember _how he get to the rooftop.

I mean like, _come on! _You were battling the fiercest and most feared spirit on a rooftop, and tried to commit suicide as a test! How could you _not_ remember a single thing before this event? A single thing!

Shido felt as if he had given up. He was tired of worrying and stressing himself out over something that should be simple and nothing to worry over.

Even though, as a strange, unbeknownst as to why, this feeling of Remorse settled in, he simply gave up. He accepted that he couldn't remember, and gave up.

Shido had learned in Biology that if you stress out over an answer to something, the answer to that something becomes less and less clear the more you focus on it, and stress your brain into. So, his last resort, his last _**hope**, _was that the answer would just come to him.

**knock-knock-knock, **came gently upon his open door from Kurumi's knuckles as she looked rather stubborn about his mental health.

"Why have you been lying in your bed for the past few hours, Shido-san?" She asked solemnly, and to her suspense, she had emitted not a single response from the sulking boy.

"I was taking care of Yoshino's bath time while you were resting. Are you feeling any better?" Kurumi felt a bit hurt as he rolled over on his side, ignoring her blatantly.

"Maybe it would be best if you just left me alone.." He said quietly, on the verge of tears.

She shook her head. "You're funny, Shido-san... why are you worrying over something like this?"

He didn't move, but just responded easily. "How would you feel if I died?"

Silence evoked as the gravity of his question was thrown at her, and her eyebrows raised, along with questions.

"What do you mean?" She asked, and he repeated in the same tone, speed and meaning.

"How would you feel if I died, Kurumi?"

"I would feel just as dead as you, Shido-san." Kurumi replied after a few minutes of deep thought.

He felt a bit happy at hearing this, but pressed on. "That's how I feel right now. Just, dead, I guess."

"But why is that?" She considered that it was _her_ turn to press on.

"I know I shouldn't worry... but, in that moment, I was going up against Nightmare, Kurumi Tokisaki, the most feared spirit, even if you were just a clone... and yet, I couldn't remember the events before that! Nothing at all!" Shido replied, and she nods respectively.

"Obviously, you are no longer the Nightmare we once knew, and I **hope** that's for sure.. I have enough on my plate already..." Again, nodding respectively, she moved in on him, sitting on his bed, she placed a comforting hand on his side, and rubbed his freezing body smoothly.

"You are absolutely right." Kurumi said. "The real Nightmare in that time wanted nothing more than to devour you for your power, but I was a clone made to be extremely infatuated with you..."

He blinked, without turning still. "So, that means, now that you're the real Kurumi, that was basically a confession of sorts?"

She giggled ominously. "Ara ara, Shido-san, you're sharp indeed.~" He blushed at her change in tone, but figured it was because that's still _Kurumi _in some ways. Obviously, with as much power as Nightmare had, she couldn't make a perfect clone.

Well, that doesn't matter, anymore. Now _this _Kurumi is the real Kurumi, and that he had _**hope**d _for.

"Well," She sighed heavily. "In any case... I **hope** you feel better."

**Hope.** What's with that word, he thought? It had been said so many times already, but why does it feel rather familiar?

"Wait..." He grabbed her wrist as she was about to get up. She looked back down in surprise, "Un?"

"Don't leave, please..." Shido said quietly seconds after. "Of course, Shido-san... I just **hope **I can make you feel better in some way."

He cringed unbeknownst to her.

**HOPE.**

What was with that word? Why did it make his head ache so damn badly?

"Kurumi.." He felt dizzy. "I feel really sick, it might be best if you didn't come too close to me, otherwise you could get sick too."

Hearing Shido's voice thick with the truth, she digresses. "I don't care, as long as I make you feel good."

He sighed, knowing she would say something like that.

Though, why did this word feel so peculiar to him? Was it something about the meaning, or subconsciously it had extreme sentimental value from a childhood promise for Kotori or maybe it was- Nah, it couldn't be any of those listed. He was just going on rambling and rambling about it in his head, until he just decided to stop, and lie down.

* * *

"So, do you feel better?" He nodded, stretching thoroughly. "You are amazing at massaging, but you were sexual at it, nonetheless." She giggled at that.

"Of course, I just love my Shido-san~" He chuckled as he blushed. He could really get used to her bubbly-ness and her personality. Especially her personality. He felt like she was a shy type, but she was openly admitting to be in love with him and openly sexual about pretty much everything and anything. A fair bit of a lot of things in this ex-clone's personality. He liked it pretty well.

Shido also felt like she was changing. He always knew she felt like a shy type, and this sudden change of attitude most likely resulted from the way their relationship starting from when they kissed that night, thoroughly at that. Whatever, though. He was enjoying himself, and she was enjoying herself. All was well, and so he closed his eyes, and immediately felt like he was floating on a marshmallowy cloud.

_Man, _Kurumi's massaging skills were nothing to look down upon.

All is well, all is well...

That is, just as Shido felt relaxed, at ease, his heart warming up, his muscles and brain at ease...

An unknown voice beamed through his skull.

_'Shido! I **hope **we never part!'_

* * *

A/N: #Cliffhangers yo. :3 I'm thoroughly happy with how this chapter turned out. You already know who said that very last line above this one, so don't even ask. x3 Hope. That's all you, the reader, has to have in order to enjoy any story, and/or anything you do. Thanks for reading, and until next week/hopefully not, but if so, hopefully next-next week!


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